Pakistanis have been skinned alive but they still dream of a shepherd coming to rescue them.
Pakistan is a heaven for Politicians and rulers. But not many know this fact. Let me tel you how. I predict that after reading this article, all the politicians of the world will abandon their countries and will rush to get Pakistani Citizenship.
No matter what you do as a politicians, Pakistanis will never bother. U will have a free hand. Nothing bothers the Pakistanis.And this is precisely why Pakistan can never fail. Here is a list of 18 things, in Pakistan, which no one gives a damn.
1. Non existence of electricity. This is to insure the survival of our caveman culture. Culture is regarded as very important in Pakistan and all attempts to weaken it are not taken lightly
2.Inflation higher than Himalayas, Fruits and vegetables are used as decoration pieces in homes. Leaves and mud cakes are substituted for food and other nutritional supplements.
3. Corruption deeper than the ocean, the only country where politicians claim that they have a right to corruption on live public TV.
3.Education darker than a cave, Higher education almost disbanded by uneducated leaders with fake degrees. Some even going as far as saying a degree is degree whether fake or real. Yes governor of Baluchistan said this. And after he found out that no one really cares what he says, a few months later repeated the same with a new twist, ‘ A degree is degree whether of a thermometer or university’. All the while, the sheep watch and cheered with amusement.
4.Railway system rusting under minister who owns a transportation company, the thief openly declares that Pakistan doesn’t need it. But he fails to comment on the open secret that he owns a gazillion trucks, which compete with Pakistan railway.
5. A military busy in foreign policy, yes along with defending their borders, they can think they can defend foreign policy too. Im crossing my fingers
6. A foreign ministry busy with fashion, Yes very soon the foreign minister will release her own fashion line. Khar-wear. My expert professional advice to her, ‘Please don’t start your marketing campaign from a Pushtu or Persian speaking region’.
7. A prime minister whose only job is to read press releases. Head of a cabinet whose members are busy milking cows in each ministry. PIA, Railway Steel mill corp. Sell the milk till the cow can stand.
8.A Burglar who has become president and lives in a fort at the foot a beautiful mountain in Islamabad. Media reports suggest the b****** is always busy in his bedroom counting new loot he makes. Without a wife and children, shuttling between Dubai and London, there is no one to disturb him. The poor man has to invite strangers to his bedroom for company. Only distracted every few minutes by his online status updates from his Swiss bank accounts. He himself has lost count of the odd places from which cash is flowing.
9. An opposition busy killing mosquitoes. Yes with all the action not in their hands and waiting for their turn to milk the cows, they are busy killing mosquitoes. They were previously busy with the flies but they all seem to have died off when Raymond Davis left.
10. Religious parties busy in defending our borders and training new recruits with fatal taweez and killer zikrs.
11. Businessmen busy taking out their cash from Pakistan and buying real estate in Dubai at higher prices and then selling at cheaper prices to help alleviate poverty in the Emirate of Dubai and Ajman.
12. Engineers busy making designs, for state of the art Dams, which will Generate Milk, honey, raw sewage, and other useful edibles for export to Afghanistan.
13. Policeman busy investing in their jobs, and maneuvering the market to raise their P/E Ratios. Some are busy making feasibility studies of new markets best suited for deployment, and to highlight areas where politicians are able to supply funds without any market constraints.
14. Student are busy in understanding and devising news techniques of E-commerce on Facebook, Youtube and Red-tube. Females are making excellent use of the technology transfer MOUs with Bollywood, where by our new generation are utilizing the latest techniques for marketing human leather , posture, expressions and body movements which stimulate sexual production. This will have an added benefit of increasing our population, which we might be able to exported to the poverty stricken Arabian countries to help with the poverty alleviation programs. The males students are busy grading and perfecting these new techniques so to make them ready for global marketing.
16. Media and entertainment industry is engaged in serving the nation thru education.
Different media outlets are busy in different sectors based on the mindset of the investors. Some parts of the media are busy spreading Islam as viewed by American fund raisers and suppliers, situated in the pentagon. Islam is branded as martial arts technique in dealing with Superpowers like USSR and other dictators. They educate future mercenaries who are able to work without any remuneration other than food and lodging. These martial experts also need no grooming as they are trained to have large beards which will help also double as camouflage.
Other parts of the media are busy in political party education. They help people to identify the new age Shepards Robin Hoods and and related band of merry men, who will, given a chance, steal from the poor and give to the rich.
17.Farmers and other laborers of Pakistan, once in five years, get paid a day’s wage for putting a vote for the local strong man. The rest of five years they spend in slavery for the local politician or Pir sahib. The farmers are also known for raising large number children which they sell once year to meet their cash requirements. The Livestock of children were previously exported to Arab countries for Camel Racing. The boom in real estate market in the Arabian countries had a detrimental affect on this trade. An alternative market for this produce has arisen from the religious parties who now export these children as open source mercenaries with GNU licenses.
18. Foreigners and expat are the hardworking people of the country. they are responsible for GDP growth and providing other major services that the nation may require. Some expats are busy in finding and locating prime targets for assassination for the American Drone program. This generates revenue for the Govt of Pakistan and meeting the expenses of some govt officials.
Others are busy in providing loans to the govt of Pakistan, which are paid off as salary to the politicians and along with other perks. Most of these loans end up in swiss bank accounts. Some of these funds may go thru local NGO Accounts before they get transferred to Swiss banks. Loan repayments are non existent and not considered to be of no importance and left for future governments or the coming future Shepard, to deal with.
My mobile battery is dying out, don’t have electricity to charge my mobile. And its getting dark. I have get back to my cave now.
Please let me know if u still have something that can be added to the above list. Please write on a stone tablet and throw it in my cave.